This morning I’m thinking of the power of prayer. Does it work? The short answer is yes. We are proof. Mike was told Tuesday night in the emergency his kidney was failing. It has been nearly 14 years with the transplanted kidney. When the doctor told us, Mike cried. Mike doesn’t cry. But the thought of enduring dialysis again at 50, was too much. Dialysis is awful. It wears the body physically and mentally. Last time Mike was on dialysis he was in his 30s. It was rough … really rough. He knows at 50 it will be even harder. Likely he will not be able to work through it like he did in his 30s. Disability is a possibility and that scares Mike. He is a type that doesn’t stop working – even in a hospital bed, even hours after a kidney transplant surgery… that is who he is.
So when we got this news I reached out to everyone I could think of to pray that his kidney functioning returns. Yesterday, we got the news that it is returning. All the meds and fluid is really helping the kidney do its job. Was prayer a part of it? Yes! In my heart and soul I know it is. I’m intelligent and also know that the circumstances around the situation made the possibility for the kidney to return practical. But it wasn’t inevitable. His kidney is slowly deteriorating. He will lose it one day. I know this and so does he. But for right now, I’m praising God that he has a few more days/years with this kidney.
At the same time, I have a dear friend who is going through dialysis right now. She had a transplant almost the same time as Mike. Her transplanted kidney failed because of the autoimmune disease she suffers from. She is now going through dialysis in her 40s. She hates it. She prays and we all pray for healing, for a new kidney to be available and possible, and yet, so far … nothing. Why? Why does she need to suffer? She is a mom, wife, librarian… an all around amazing human. It makes me mad and sad that she is suffering like this. I know she feels like giving up at times. I know Mike would feel like that too. She won’t because she has a daughter and husband and dogs that simply adore her and won’t let her. But it makes me really think about prayer. Is it more of the circumstances that make prayer work, or is it the miracle God decides? Again, intellect and feelings don’t always tell the truth. God says that he hears our prayers and answers them. We must hold to that truth, even when we don’t see evidence of it. That is a step of courage and shedding one part of insecurity. I question it, just like most do. I’m not this super spiritual fanatic that cannot see reality. But I stand and choose intentionally to believe God. I pray continuously Mark 9:24: “I believe; help my unbelief.”
God is still in the miracle business. I have been witness to many miracles. My life has shown me miracles are real. I have no answers why my friend must suffer and Mike is (for at least right now) given more time with his kidney. But I adore my friend and will continue to pray for God’s miraculous touch on her life. I believe even right now, as her tears and exhaustion make her want to give up, He is with her; tenderly guarding her and loving her through this misery. Her strength is from Him. She doesn’t feel strong, but she is superwoman in my book. I’m sure her faith is shaky as she tries to believe in miracles. All evidence points away from it. But God can make the impossible possible.
Miracles aren’t necessarily getting all our answers met the way we want. Sometimes it’s choosing to believe that miracles are in the mundane; the simple smile on someone’s face, or the hope that pushes us one more day to endure what feels impossible.